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by NEWS FLASHES
1. Now on sale at IKEA - LESBIAN beds, no nuts or screwing involved;
it's all tongue and groove.
2. A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol;
police say it's definitely race related.
3. Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced
that they are closing lanes 7 and 8.
4. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest,
but explaining they were not a dating agency.
5. The lead actor in the local Pantomime production of Aladdin was sexually assaulted
by the gay genie on stage last night. To be fair the audience did try to warn him.
1. Now on sale at IKEA - LESBIAN beds, no nuts or screwing involved;
it's all tongue and groove.
2. A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol;
police say it's definitely race related.
3. Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced
that they are closing lanes 7 and 8.
4. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest,
but explaining they were not a dating agency.
5. The lead actor in the local Pantomime production of Aladdin was sexually assaulted
by the gay genie on stage last night. To be fair the audience did try to warn him.
, you get worse every day lol
..... *falls off chair* 
